King of Wishful Thinking

If there is one term that defines me, its this. The King of Wishful Thinking. VK08May spoke to me today about this.

Here are the lyrics ...

I don't need to fall at your feet
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking

I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

I will never, never shed a tear for you
I'll get over you

If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

contd ...

Wow! I mean imagine being able to write like that. The King of Wishful Thinking!

Hello Mr. Email Jockey

[Start Rant]

I hereby present myself with yet another title. Mr. Email Jockey.

I heard the term first time on a flight. One Chinese executive, working in Hong Kong was talking to an entrepreneur from Australia and while talking, one of them dropped this term. I instantly developed a liking towards it. It had just the right ring to it. It aroused curiosity. I ensured that you get into a conversation. And most importantly, it said a lot about what I really do.

So who is an email jockey? Someone who sits on his laptop and blackberry and fires away emails at the speed of light. Someone who is so overawed by the volume of email that he doesn't get a single minute to think on things. Someone, on his day off, misses all the "action" that email jockeying entails.

You get on your desk at precisely 10. You open you mailbox. And next thing you notice is the grumbling sounds from your stomach and you realize that its 1. Time for lunch. You eat, pee, smoke, chit chat, visit the water cooler, stare at that girl you like. All in that 5 minutes break that you allow yourself. And then you are back at the station. Juggling emails from clients and vendors and team.

Next time you peek up from the sea of incoming messages and herd of outgoing mails, you realize its well past 9. And that colleague that you like and you hoped to ask out, has left for the day. And to make matters worse, you get an email from the guy who sits next to you, about how much fun he's having with that very girl.

Coming back, so email jockeying is one of those things that dint exist as a profession till about 5 years back. Advent of technology and its ubiquitous penetration has now made everyone email aware. You can now email and get married. Its really convenient and all that but for people like me, who are on the receiving end, this is one of those things that you wish, you could un-invent!

[End of Rant]

So this is what being drunk means

So this is what being drunk means. The heads spinning and yet you feel good about it. You have that heady feeling and yet you are elated. You yell out songs at top of your voice and not care a shade about anyone or anything. You lose your inhibitions and only thing stopping you from being yourself is you.

So this is what being drunk actually means. When you are carefree. When you cant think of anything. When the mind is actually blank – devoid of all thought. Even when you are on the phone, with your best friend, all you talk, is nothing. Where there are no words. There’s not even silence. Just the noise of wind. On either ends.

So this is what being drunk really means. When you get that mental high just because you are on the road, driving a vehicle. Controlling it. Maneuvering it at will. Like a free bird. Imagine Delhi at night. The wind. Cold enough to send that shiver down your spine. And not so cold that you need layers of cloths. Awesome roads devoid of any traffic. Where you can zip around in your car. A pit stop at India Gate. And spreading your arms wide. The way birds often do, before they fly away. Imagine the flight. Wish you could take off.

Confession. I am drunk. Not on alcohol. But on caffeine and chocolate. And on the amazing winds that you get only in Delhi. And on the wonderful drive that you just completed.

5 mantras for succeeding in corporate life

After spending about five years in corporate life (ok, pseudo-corporate), here are a few things that I have learnt.
  1. Save your ass. At any cost. Even if it means learning those famed talents like ass-licking, participating in political Olympics, back stabbing, water-cooler bickering et al
  2. Yell first. Even before the blame games can begin. And since you have yelled first, you automatically stand correct. And it won’t hurt if you could be loud. After all you need to be heard over the entire din in the room.
  3. Master the art of passing the buck. Your table should remain empty. No decision should ever be traced to you. No one should be able to question your decision and more importantly, that ability to take a decision.
  4. Send emails to everyone in the world. Even your janitor. And the security guy. So that tomorrow everyone knows your version of the story. After all emails are free and people have lot of time on their hands. They do read each and every character. And since you are the one to have put things on record, and
  5. Text must be bold face with red font. Bolder the better. Redder the better. Bold and red makes a deadly combination. As if it was written in the recipient’s blood.

P.S.: Wrote this when I was mindfucked because of some random comment from a client!

Two years of an affair

This day, in 2009, I set sight on her for the first time. Just about two years and it already feels like a lifetime.

To be honest, unlike most affairs, it was not the usual love at first sight. I dint even know I would fall in love! When I first set eyes on her, she was with her twins, friends and cousins. And like any man drooling over such sexy looking dames, I had a tough time deciding. At one instant I wanted her and at another, her sister. And there was a moment when I dint want anyone at all. Such are the frivolities of the male brain! Most women will vouch for it!

Anyways, so how we met is a funny incident. Neo and I were chilling out one fine evening when he asked to go with him to some mall. We were on our way and we saw these hot bodies and like all single men, we had to stop and gawk at them. Like most such incidents, we would have admired the object of affection and moved on but bugger Neo said, let’s go talk to them. I tend to ignore most of the things that Neo asks me to do but here I made an exception. I was like what the heck! And rest, as they say, rest is history.

So we went ahead and moment I saw her from up-close, I realized that I have always wanted her. Since eternity. From ever since I could remember things. Though, the decision took more than ten years of deliberation, gathering courage and wait. It took that nudge from Neo. And some chemical reactions in my brains that created that spark that made me blurt out a yes on the impulse. And boy, am I am glad that she accepted me with open arms (as if she had a choice)!

Like all relationships, we have seen our ups and downs. And when I look back, I realize that I am the one at fault. In fact, I don’t think I have given enough in the relationship. I am guilty. Of ignoring her. Of not paying enough attention. Of not being with her when she needs me.

She, on the other hand, has been a perfect companion. Better than anyone you could ask for. She has never let me down till date. Never. Whenever I have wanted to be with her, she has been around. She has seen me through all sorts of emotions. I have laughed, I have cried, I have been high, I have been sad, I have been ecstatic, I have had that heady feeling of being free, of flying in the open sky. I have planned my magnanimous schemes, I have conjured those dreams. I imagined things that I knew dint exist. I went far when I was with her. I was in control. Of myself and my destiny.

I really wish I could do more for her. I really want to age with her and stay with her for rest of my life!

Here’s the best part! Even though I don’t look at her for days but whenever I am with her, we make heads turn. People take note of us. They talk about us. I can see that feeling of envy in their eyes. I can see through people. I can see that they secretly wished they were in my place. With her.

Its been two years. Call the day her birthday or call it our anniversary. Call it whatever but she is one of my most cherished possessions. Yes, a possession. She means a lot.

Thanks Neo. For helping me make that decision. Thanks ma, pa for giving me the freedom. And last, and not the least, thank you. For being there!

Ab kya karenge?

literally translated, the title of the post reads "what next?". Been some time since I posted something on this blog. I don't know if something important has happened that warrants a post on the blog but somehow I felt like talking to someone and I realized there was no one that I could goto and speak my heart out. No no, I am not inviting tissue papers or free hugs or donations or something. I am merely stating a fact.

So the point of the post was that I felt someone, something was pulling me towards this blog. I know that the audience on my blog is next to zero. Any random visitors that somehow find their way to these posts, spends like 0.003 seconds here. No, really. I have a counter that keeps a tab. This link. So despite being the most boring place on the world wide web, why do I still maintain this? And what entices me to spend countless hours trying to post gibberish, that I know, no one is interested in reading? Wish I could peep into my brain and come up with answers.

So lets put some links here. I stumbled onto a website called They have the MOST amazing UI ever. I wish I could steal their designer for Cyntax2. Then I heard Bossa Nova and have been downloading music since. Try it. Its worth the time. And bandwidth. I did think of yet another book (that I would someday write). It would be called The Secret Society of Chronic Underachievers. Even if no one agrees to publish it, I will self-publish it. First 100 people to comment on this post, get an autographed copy ;P Then in other news, I finally saw Bangkok. Not that I was dying for it but because my visa application got rejected. Though I became the first Indian in the history of Thailand's immigration files to be denied a visa, I managed to get the visa on arrival. My other trips are here. And attached is a map. For the warm and fuzzy feeling!

And until next time, namaste!

Goldspot - Friday

Yet another piece about a recent piece in media that has exciting me. This time, its about an alternative rock band called Goldspot. They have amazing amazing songs. Soothing voice, thoughtful lyrics, the ones I can relate with. Here is their most famous track.

P.S.: Thanks PD

The Nidhi Kapoor Story

Did you like this post? May be you want to read my first book - The Nidhi Kapoor Story.

Check it out on Amazon or Flipkart?